Archive for the ‘ PS3 ’ Category

Bulletstorming the gates


From the creators of the hit game Duty Calls, Epic Games, comes a game that will cause children to become serial rapists, Bulletstorm. No, seriously, Fox News said this game will turn your kids into bona fide southern Bubbas. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, read it I’ll wait…AREN’T THEY CRAZY? Anyway, future rise in the rate of rape aside, Bulletstorm is a hilarious sci-fi romp through the blood and guts of some unknown alien race mutants. They probably deserved it anyway.

Bros 4 life

First off, if you are unsure of whether or not you want to shell out the cash for Bulletstorm, a decision not to be taken lightly, try the free demo on your respective Xbox, Steam, or PlayStation networks. Then, after you’ve spent a while thinking “Maybe this is pretty cool,” get the full game and spend a few hours playing before you get back to where you left off. For a game titled Bulletstorm, I for one am a little disappointed that it takes 20 minutes before you can wield your gun toward some unfriendly aliens mutants. I can let this slide even, it’s not a horrible offense, but I expect better.

So what should make BulletStorm so different? The game awards points (which you can use to buy new guns and upgrades) for performing “skill shots,” which consist of things like the standard headshot to the “Fan-tastic” for making an enemy spin on the ceiling using the drill gun. Other such skillful shots, with oft hilarious names/connotations, become available as you collect guns throughout the game. This isn’t incredibly new, Mad World for the Wii did something similar years ago. While Mad World had a lot more variety to what you could do, with the Wii motion controls and all, it was easily mastered during the first level and not really varied beyond that. BS, on the other dismembered hand, had the foresight to add color and different guns, adding some spice to the horrific killing, which you pick up during the game each with their own strengths and skills. Though after an act or two you can manage to perform most of the skills associated with your newest weapon and get back down to shootin’ stuff.

Pretty much this, like, all the time.

Graphics wise, Bulletstorm feels like somebody had great plans for the game to look fantastic but then someone else decided to cheap out and use the Unreal engine. Now there’s nothing wrong with using the Unreal engine, it’s pretty cool, but it isn’t that great. Games using it often look pretty gritty, especially when the oft used dirt filter is used. Because of this, BS doesn’t look a whole lot different from other similar shooters. On occasion, it looks like someone decided that Bulletstorm absolutely needed to have super awesome graphical sequences, but they just never come out right. Half the time you are distracted by things shooting at your face and don’t get to take in the stunning vistas. That’s not to say that Bulletstorm looks bad. It is still a fine looking game, just not very differentiable from other next-genners.

I...I don't...I don't know...

As far as the campaign goes, don’t expect at deep and captivating story from Bulletstorm. It, like the level design, is incredibly linear with the budget of twists and turns spent in the opening prologue (which is the most boring part of the game). After that, however, the game just becomes ridiculously hilarious. Between your rampant path of destruction and the fantastic one liners delivered by Steve Blum (Read: Spike Spiegel) the game remains up tempo and entertaining. Around the end it kinda peters off and the ending seems very labored, but is worth it for completion’s sake.

Once you’ve finished off the single player portions of Bulletstorm the multiplayer modes are worth a try. Anarchy mode features a Firefight style mode where you and up to four other players fight off wave after wave of enemies. The other, Echo mode, allows you to replay certain parts of the single player with teammates. Both reward (and sometimes require) precision teamwork to pull off team skill shots for bonus points and extra carnage. Otherwise, these modes aren’t a whole lot different from the basic game. Still hilarious, though.

Kinda...exactly like this.

Being billed as “Not your average shooter,” I am saddened that I can barely distinguish it from other average shooters of today. Don’t get me wrong, it is fun, but nothing at all new. It still has the realistic brown dirt look that is so common in games today and, while there is some variety, there isn’t enough to actually be called variety. Yes, shooting someone in the genitals is humorous, but only to a certain extent. There’s not a whole lot beyond the standard kicking, shooting, and electric leashing thing. While it is fun, it gets old eventually. Bulletstorm has that quirky, highly immature sense of humor that video game’s target demographic is known for and, if you’re into that, will result in a very fun time. If not, then just hope you don’t leave feeling “one hell of a murder boner” for Epic Games.

I don't know what this is, but it comes up when you google image search Bulletstorm


Little Big Planet 2

Little Big Planet 2

Released January 18, Play-Station 3 exclusive Little Big Planet 2 is the long awaited sequel to the original Little Big Planet, long considered one of the best PS3 games available. Little Big Planet was a quirky 2.5D puzzle platformer starring the infamous Sackboy whose in game content was pretty good but the game’s appeal came from the ability to generate user content for the community. Millions of user created maps were available to play in every shape from male genitalia to a remake of the original NES game Contra. Little Big Planet users were able to do downright amazing things with relatively simple tools.

He doesn't like hats.

So what is different between the first and the second? For starters, where the original was marketed as a platformer Little Big Planet 2 was instead marketed as a “platform for games” and, as such, developers Media Molecule have done their best to give as much creative freedom to the users as possible. New tools like the “controllinator,” which allows buttons and Sixaxis motions to be directly mapped to Sackboy actions, as well as wearable hats and grappling hooks which can be combined with pretty much anything to create unique Sackboy tools allow for unprecedented freedom to create.

Did you know that Sackbots have a pre-set kill limit?

Artifical intelligence (AI) has also been added with the introduction of the Sackbots. The first Little Big Planet only had the capacity for scripted entities but the new Sackbots can be programmed to do anything Sackboy can and serve as fairly effective enemies or allies within various custom games. The Sackbots are, however, limited to the skill and creativity of their programmer and, as is too often the case, can act pretty stupidly. They do make fairly good race car drivers, though.

Side by side comparison.

Graphics wise, Little Big Planet 2 has received a major face lift compared to its predecessor. The game has undergone major improvements to its graphics system since the original, including new particle and physics engines and updates to the lighting. While at first it is difficult to tell the difference between the two, side by side comparison reveals that the newest version’s looks have drastically improved. Little Big Planet 2 look and feels, as much as possible for a game starring a burlap sack, more realistic and is, overall, more stylized and easier on the eyes.

The community levels are not the only reason to get the newest Little Big Planet. In fact, creators will have to explore the in game worlds at least a little bit to gain access to all the developer items. The story mode still has players exploring new planets to save the universe from the Negativitron and collecting various stickers and doo-dads throughout the level. Mostly, the single-player levels serve as a display of what can be done in Little Big Planet 2 and as a springboard for ideas by would be developers. They are pretty enjoyable, too.

In addition to the three million and counting platformer style levels imported and updated from the original Little Big Planet, new custom levels and game types are already popping up on the PlayStation Network (PSN).  Already racing games, classic arcade style games, and even a few first person shooters are available to play. If you buy a new game this year, go with Little Big Planet 2, since it will probably include most of the others at some point or another.

See you, Space Cowboy...

Bayonetta: A story of Sin and…well just that.

I suggest you watch this at least once, for hilarity.

I started playing Bayonetta with few, if any, preconceived notions about it in my mind. I knew that she user her hair to clothe and kill things and that the game had an M rating for blood and gore, ‘intense’ violence, strong language, suggestive themes, and, the crowd favorite, partial nudity. As of this point I’m sure that the naughty bits were included solely to get the game to M and make this a must have for pre-pubescent teens with a slow internet connection.

The game starts off with you and some other person (presumably a witch) falling on a clock tower killing angels. There’s some backstory but you don’t notice that because you are KILLING ANGELS! First, disregard any notion of what you think God’s most holy servants and army look like because, according to SEGA, you are wrong. Angels are not some beautified version of a human or anything close. They’re eagles. Kinda. They resemble something that would happen if an eagle, a crusader, and a lava lamp had a three-way, which, considering the overall theme of Bayonetta would not be an entirely impossible idea.

This is what a devout life gets you.

What Zero Punctuation’s Yahtzee say’s about the game’s fetishized tendencies is entirely true. You have a woman wrapped in skin tight…hair who prances around taking it off for you, the player, to see every press a button.

This is a common occurrence for Bayonetta.

She walks in what can only be described as a “Stripper runway strut.” Consumable items are all lollipops which she sensuously sucks during every cutscene where she has one. She even has glasses and a bun for the “sexy librarian” crowd. Even in the first scene of the game you are treated with her exploding out of a nuns robe and then giving you a close up of every conceivable angle of her adult parts for about 10 minutes while she beats on some Angels. If you so desire you can pick up a weapon from a defeated enemy and swing around it as though that’s how you make your living at night, kicking and shooting things also of course. I think my favorite part, however, is when I had to pull a lever. No you might think “What’s so bad about that?” She could have easily just pulled the lever with her hair or arms like a sane person but no. Bayonetta decided that the only way to pull it was to kick her leg up, wrap around the pole and bend over backwards to close the loop. (see it here)

As far as the gameplay goes, it is incredibly simple and I can otherwise only bridge parallels between it and Devil May Cry, minus the incredibly difficult part. You have a large number of combos available but you end up using the one that only requires you mash the Punch button until a demonic leg comes out from your hair and kicks whatever you were punching’s ass and the a few of the techniques you can buy from the store, all of which end with (literally) a snapshot of Bayonetta in a suggestive pose for a second. As for the store you buy things using red orbs halos that you collect from defeated enemies and benches and crates and flowerpots and everything else in the world. I have no idea who decided that halos were a “Very Rare” metal because you deal with these things in the thousands. The cheapest thing costs 5000 halos and techniques cost at least 15k. I’m sure that Rodin (pronounced Rodan), the proprietor of the Gates of Hell bar and store, is shafting you and selling these things for a serious profit in the Inferno (read hell), though I suppose you get what you can when you are fighting the armies of God.

“Sorry, I need to buy more lollipops.”

I think. It is never really clear what is going on in Bayonetta. From what I’ve seen Bayonetta woke up in a coffin at the bottom of a lake 20 years ago and has been fighting angels to avoid being dragged back to hell. Then some stuff happens and you see a lot of fanservice. I hope that once I finish the game I’ll understand why I was fighting a two headed dragon in a church only to have part of the church (the part with you in it) ripped from the ground and flown around, climaxing (yes, that’s the technical term) in you throwing the church back at him after a dreaded quick time even or Press X to not die sequence. Generally speaking, I would miss such events the first time every time because they just pop up randomly so that you don’t finish without seeing the “sorry you died” scene and racking up a skull and crossbones continue (which costs you style points at the end of a level and nothing else).

Despite all that the game is surprisingly entertaining and fun to play. I am continually surprised by each astoundingly awesome move that Bayonetta comes up with. Nothing is more satisfying that watching a difficult boss be destroyed by a gigantic spinning torture wheel, or other such devices. Once you get past the fact that she is shooting guns from her feet (my answer is she’s a witch) you realize how cool it is that she is shooting guns from her feet and you don’t question it. If you want story, character development, or anything artsy save yourself 50 dollars and go buy Killer 7. If you do want a game that entertains and lets you battle Angels with bondage gear get Bayonetta. Just don’t let your girlfriend see it or she will think you are cheating on her.

I don’t know where she keeps that.
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