Posts Tagged ‘ Bioshock 2 ’

Top five worst sequels, here’s some wet water.

Top Five Worst Sequels
By personal request from my good friend Brett, I’ll be giving a rundown of the five worst sequels made. This is to be restricted to video games, not movies. Five is not enough for the badness of the matrices. Anyway, moving on.
5. Deus EX: Invisible War

So, I’ll be honest, I’ve never played any of the Deus Ex games, but I’m told the first at least is quite good. Normally, I don’t take word of mouth on games until I’ve played them at least a little bit, but I feel like the Deus Ex saga may be a special case. I’ve never found a game more widely accepted as being good as the first Deus Ex, so I assume it’s pretty good. So why hate on the second? Well, I’ve never heard another game called a letdown as much as Deus Ex: Invisible War. If you don’t believe me, go find someone, a friend, relative, loved one, guy on the street with a giant beard, and ask them their thoughts on the entire Deus Ex series. I guarantee, on my right knee, that they will agree with me. That was a bit more rhyming than I intended.

4. Bioshock 2

As far as games I’ve played go, Bioshock 2, The Bioshocker, makes the bottom of my worsts list. I’ve had a few words on BS2 so I shant go into much detail as to why it’s here, but it is. Accept it. Anyway, on its own BS2 is not a bad game. It’s cool and, dare I say it, enjoyable but it has the unfortunate quality of having been a sequel to Bioshock. Being the child of this super awesome game, it has some big shoes to fill and, like a small child parading around in their father’s Crocs, it just doesn’t quite fit.

3. Assassin’s Creed 2

At first I was a bit hesitant to put Assassin’s Creed 2on this list, I just recently started playing through it last week, but then I kept playing it. Yes, it is a bit cleaner looking than the first game, but honestly I’m disappointed in the boring content in this game. I had problems with the first Creed due to its repetitive nature and the sequel failed to improve upon this fault. As much as I love fetch quests, oh wait, I don’t. Why can’t people go get their own stuff? I’m not even a blade for hire anymore, I’m a messenger boy. I’m only surprised that the developers didn’t dress Enzio up in brown short shorts to resemble his UPS descendants. I haven’t quite made my way through the entirety of the game yet, nor can I be sure that I ever will, so someday I might rescind this idea but I find this unlikely as I doubt they had sweet UPS trucks back in the day.

Da Vinci would be proud.

2. Metal Gear Solid 2

Oh Kojima. You so silly.

Now, I’m a huge fan of the Metal Gear Solid series. Yes, the long winded cutscenes of Hideo Kojima can get a bit dull at times, but they make up for it with good writing and a great sense of humor. Except the second. Well, at least a large portion of it. The parts with Raiden were really unpleasant, to say the least. I really don’t care if you’re having relationship issues with your girlfriend, Raiden, take care of that at home, not the office. This is a place for work, not your personal problems. The other elements of the game are fine, so I suppose if you played it muted and skipped every cutscene MGS2 would probably get a lot better, but then it wouldn’t have the same charm that makes MGS games great.

1. Legend of Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link
This one’s a bit of a stretch back in time, but still a goodie. Everyone remembers the good ol’e days of the original Legend of Zelda. Runnin’ around, pew pewing with your sword, killing Gannon. Fun times. Then, for some reason, they threw all of that away and made The Legend of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Right off the bat you can see a problem with this game: It’s about Link. No one really cares about him, he’s just the mute hero who happens to repeatedly save the world. This game doesn’t even fit into the otherwise “solid” Legend of Zelda mythos, which we all know is near flawless. Second only to the TV series, the adventure of Link is one of the biggest WTF’s of the franchise. It has a weird 2d slash 3d combat system and a wonky RPG style leveling system, which is frankly out of place in a Zelda game.


That, and it’s hard. Unnecessarily so. I’ve seldom found a game that I just could not beat, but this is one of them. Yes, I should probably go grind more before I hit that second temple, but that’s just bad design and out of place in a Zelda game. If I was going to go run up a grind fest I’d play a good game, like Final Fantasy, that way I might feel sad when my Nintendo cartridge accidentally erases my save data.

And there you have it. My top 5 worst sequels. I hope this has been insightful, if nothing else. I’m still taking suggestions for future content, so please feel free to chime in with your two cents.


BioShock 2: More of the Same

Before installing BioShock 2, I had only played a tiny portion of the original BioShock but I had enjoyed what little I had and only stopped to do bad computer technology. The whole plasmid, shooting not-magic stuff from your hands was always an entertaining idea, not to mention shooting up Rapture’s various shooters up, so I decided to give the sequel a try.

The BioShocker

From what I have gathered thus far the 2 games are linked only by title and location, so no need to read the Wikipedia article for the first just yet.

BioShock 2’s intro cinematic is, behind only the F.E.A.R. franchise, the creepiest thing in a game I have ever seen. It starts out with you looking into a vent shaped peculiarly like an eye (some kind of symbolism, perhaps, that goes right over my head) out of which crawls Eleanor, a little girl with incredibly vivid glowing yellow eyes. After you get her out of the vent she runs off and you chase after her to discover that she is draining what looks like blood (which I now know to be ADAM) from a corpse and then drinking it from her giant syringe.

Seriously, what are they teaching kids in school these days?

She then climbs on your back and you walk through a party. After you frighten most of the party-goers you rough up some guys with your giant drill arm. Did I forget to mention that you play as a Big Daddy? The Alpha series model, to be precise, the first Big Daddy to be bonded with a Little Sister (The girl you just watched drink a man).

That’s you, on the right. With the drill.

After you drill through a man you are hit with some green glob which freezes your monstrous form. Then you are introduced to Sophia Lamb, the girl you’ve been spending your time with’s mother and defacto leader of Rapture, who informs you that the girl is her daughter and she will not let you have her. Sophia then orders you to shoot yourself in the head, to which you agree and do. Normally, this would permanently put someone out of commission but you only take a ten year nap. After that, it’s time to get up and get back to work in a now ruined rapture. Why no one threw you out with the garbage rather than save you in a closet for sentimental value is beyond me, but I’ll ignore this plot hole, the only hole not caused by the drill on your arm.

The rest of the story, or at least as much as I have seen, if fairly straightforward. Eleanor is trapped by her mother and misses you so you need to spring her but to do that you need ADAM which you can only get by stealing another, modern Big Daddy’s Little Sister, which leads to the awkward line: “New Goal: Pick up little Sister”, which is probably why the newly introduced Big Sister’s are after you.

BTW, the cake is a lie.

The Big Sisters (formed from a discarded Little Sister) are just like you except smaller, faster, and harder to kill. Really it’s only the helmet that’s the same, so expect to get punched in the faceplate more than a few times by these clever girls.

Honestly, I would expect someone covered in metal to be better equipped to take a hit than the protagonist from the previous game, a mere human (with some gene implants), but you to go down after a few taps with a crowbar. In fact, very little has changed from the previous BioShock. You still have EVE powered lightning shooting plasmids (and presumably bee shooting ones as well), still fight the same drug addicted splicers in the ruins of Rapture, and are still drenched in neat water effects and too many religious references. Even the Ammo Bandito and Carnival of Value are still there to comfort the weary fighter in the night. The only real difference I’ve found thus far are that you now lack a right hand and, like a 50s era machine girl, you strap guns and drills to your right arm to kill everything.

Bioshock 3: Under the mask.

One real thing the developers did change was the “hacking” system. In BioShock, there was a neat pipe laying mini-game where you lined up pipes to flow the hacking fluid from the in port to the out port which resulted in control of the system. In BioShock 2, hacking has been reduced to a reflex based “land the arrow in the green part” task. Hacking is no longer a challenge because anyone with any timing can complete them, rather than the minor puzzle of old. I will miss that viscous blue fluid that flowed through the machines.

Now to take a step back for a moment, the two most annoying qualities of BioShock are things not attributes of the gameplay. The first, and the lesser, is a minor glitch that I hope will be fixed in updates that causes a remapped use key to be displayed incorrectly. At first this doesn’t seem like a major flaw but when spending ten minutes trying to hack a door when the on screen text tells me to press ‘F’ when I should have been pressing my remapped ‘E’ can be frustrating. The second, and by far the worst, is the Games for Windows/Xbox Live integration. I realize that Microsoft wants to extend their Xbox Live system to computers and not just their consoles but I don’t want that, that’s what Steam is for. Having to jump through hoops (including entering the product key repeatedly and signing up for Xbox Live) just to start the game, not to mention the drama ruining achievements. The new overlay may be fine for some but I do wish that I could not have to deal with it.

Overall, if you beat the first BioShock and enjoyed it you probably will enjoy the sequel. If you haven’t, play the original BioShock instead. It’s cheaper and more or less the same, but doesn’t have the clanking of your giant metal feet. If you do plan to get it, I would suggest obtaining a copy for console so that you can play it even when you don’t have an internet connection, otherwise you’ll have to stop the next time the network goes down.

Totally NOT a spoiler.
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